When a parent dies – Three Things Never Say on children

Young children are amorphous concepts of death at best. They can not understand what it means death and the consequences for them. While they may suffer the mother is dead, can still expect her to show up for his birthday party.

If you are a bit 'older and do not understand that does not come back to mom or dad may have serious concerns about their lives. "Who cook my dinner?" or "Who sees me in the gym?"

These questions do not implythat the child is in mourning, they represent his desire for some certainty in a world suddenly gone above and below it are. If you are serious problems for children, the questions must, as quickly as possible in order to restore their balance will be answered.

In an attempt to comfort the child, adults sometimes say things that the child can be easily misunderstood, efforts to sort can backfire and have serious consequences. Here are some "useful comments" which are allbut:

"The mother was dead, because it is the will of God."

This is the kind of statement that a child can turn to God for a long, long time. Because God wants to die and my mother left me? I did something so bad that God was punishing me, Mom? Or the mother has done something wrong?

"Dad is much happier because he and God."

adults could understand this concept, but the children don 't children often believe that they are in no way responsible for the deaths of their parents and say:that their dad happier without them, even if it is with God, it's downright cruel.

"Dad, you get a new mom soon."

A statement like this is absolutely inconceivable. The child has lost someone irreplaceable, but this comment to emphasize that Mommies do not easily replaced most important part of a flashlight battery.

Of course, you want to avoid the obvious bad choices, "Dad went to sleep" or "leave mommy. These efforts, the facts you can escape witha child who is afraid to go to bed, leaving nap, and then more and more concerned because of the lack of sleep. The second choice is harmful because the child continues to look for his mother every day and every time the mother does not get to manage the child with a new pain. How will he or she should heal in these circumstances?

The best thing to do is tell the truth. "My mother was very, (injured or heavy), very sick. All the doctors and nurses worked hard, but my mom wasevil (or she was injured too heavy) for them to help her. She's dead. This means that they have stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating and she could not hear or see anything. We will not see mom, but you can not forget that you loved with all my heart and was so proud of you. We all want to get just for mom, but I'll take care of yourself and take care of you. We can not Mom, every time you want, because we all like to talk about. And I love you. "

Death is a tragedy for the childrenand adults, but children are resilient and tough. If the facts and a lot of loving support that they can finally overcome the pain and continue with their lives.

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